


Worthless/Worthy

by lumos_flies



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Anxiety, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Praise Kink, Rough Sex, Slightly - Freeform, kylo knows one way to comfort you and it's his dick, kylo ren worships at the alter of this WAP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:33:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27635506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lumos_flies/pseuds/lumos_flies
Summary: The rumor mill aboard Starkiller base has reared it's ugly head, and today is the day it's become just a bit too much for you to handle alone.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	Worthless/Worthy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Theflamingriceball](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theflamingriceball/gifts).



> Two fics in one week? Who am I?

Pathetic. 

Worthless. 

Useless. 

A million different words swirled through your head, each one more insulting than the last. You could feel tears prick at the corners of your eyes as you move through the halls of Starkiller base, trying to make your way back to your room to break down completely. So many little things had compounded, not so sly whispers about how you had only slept your way to your current position had needled under your skin. 

But now your duties were done for the day, and you had only one goal- curl up in your bed, warm under the covers, and ignore the world for the rest of the night. You swore you could hear the nasty giggles of the people mocking you following you through the halls. Your breath was catching in your throat, and you could feel your chest tightening as you struggled to inhale. 

Soon enough though you were finally in your room, and you fell to your knees as soon as the door slammed shut behind you. You could feel tremors wracking your body as you tried to remember the best way to calm yourself down. You knew you had tactics to deal with your mind when it spiraled like this, but they all seemed so far away, so far fetched that you couldn’t quite recall what they were in the moment. Your were so wrapped up in your own thoughts that you failed to notice the other person in the room until they cleared their throat. 

Your head snaps up at the noise, scrambling back until your back is pressed to the door, eyes widening when you see who’s sat on your bed. 

Kylo Ren rests on it like he owns the place. And, you suppose, in a way he does. His helmet is off and for a brief moment there’s a respite in your troubled mind as you drink in his features. You’ve seen his face so many times before, but it never gets old. You take in his soft, slightly curled at the ends hair, his lips that are just begging you to press your own against them, and his eyes… that are looking at you with concern. 

“What’s gotten you all riled up, pretty thing?” The use of the soft name for you, and his low tone of voice sends a fresh wave of tears to your eyes. You want to calm down, to be able to just breathe, explain you’re having a bad day but what comes out is-

“Why are you even here?” The words tumble out of your mouth before you can give them a second thought. “What do you want now?” The words were meant to sound harsh, spiteful. You didn’t want Kylo to see you break down like this. Instead they sound whiny, needy in a way that only makes you hate yourself more. 

“What I want is for you to control yourself and explain,” Ah, there it is, the familiar tone of voice you’re used to from him. It’s cold, clearly detached from the scene in front of him. Kylo Ren has never been one for your moods since you first started your dalliance with him. You had always made sure to be as perfect as you could in front of him, hiding any tears away for when you were alone. You had expected him to run at the first sign of trouble from you, his obedient little toy, and he was confirming it to you now. 

Your watery eyes meet his, and you force as much vitriol into your voice as you can when you speak, “Don’t pretend you don’t hear the things they say about me. About you. About us, and what we do together.”

He has the audacity to scoff at you, and you can see his eyes roll. Your panicked sadness is set aside for a moment as anger flares up in you, red hot and immediate. 

“I have no use for the gossip from the inconsequential ants that work on this ship,” He says, levelling you with a glare. “Why should you?’

“Perhaps because I’m not the Supreme Leader, perhaps because this is my career we’re talking about, something I happen to take quite seriously!” You can hear your voice growing shrill, but you can’t find it in yourself to calm down enough to care. “I don’t want people to misconstrue my value on this ship!”

“Do you think I would be here right now if I didn’t think you had value?” If you had been in a better state of mind you might have heard the warning note in his voice, the one that told you to stand down and listen to him. As it was now, you barreled on. 

“Yes I’m well aware of where you think my value lies!” You finally look at him again, chest heaving, as you focus in on his features. He’s standing now, and stars, you forgot how much of your small room he dominates when he does. His face isn’t the impassive mask you imagined it would be, he’s torn between a look of anger and pain. 

“Stop. Talking,” He snarls before crossing the room to you in three long steps. His arms immediately come up to cage you in against the door, and you have to crane your neck to look up at him properly. One hand comes up to grip your jaw tightly, making sure your eyes can’t stray away from his face. 

“I am going to show you,” He says, and you want to ask him what he means by that but he’s already hauling you across the room to the refresher by the collar of your shirt. It hurts, the material digging into your skin painfully, but the pain helps ground you back into reality. 

He pushes you into the bathroom first, and you’re forced to catch yourself on the sink. He doesn’t enter into it at all, stopping at the doorway to simply loom in it. 

“Look at yourself,” He demands of you, and when you hesitate you can feel the Force as he makes you look at yourself in the mirror above the sink. Your eyes are bloodshot, red and puffy from crying. There’s tear tracks all down your face, and your nose is red from where you’ve been rubbing it all day. In short, you think you look hideous. You can’t imagine a world in which the God standing behind you would ever look twice at you like this. 

But when you catch his eye there’s none of the coldness you expected to find. His face may be a mask still, but his eyes have always betrayed his inner emotions to you. They’re softer than the rest of him, and if you didn’t know any better you might think there was some affection hiding in their depths. 

“Strip,” He pauses a moment before continuing, “And do not make me repeat myself.” This time you give into him with no resistance, shaky hands pulling off your shirt and unhooking your bra, and then pushing down your pants and underwear in one swift motion. 

Your eyes never leave his. 

Your arms come up to try to cover your chest, but he reaches out, a hand placed at the small of your back, startling you into stopping. 

“Watch,” He instructs, before moving in behind you. His hand comes up to stroke down your neck, and the feeling of leather on your skin gives you goosebumps. 

“Look at the way you react to me,” His voice is soft again, sweeter than you’ve ever heard it. His hands slip down to your breasts, cupping them fully to pinch and tweak at your nipples until they’re hard little pebbles in his hands. “I know your body so well, pretty thing, but that’s not the only part of you I know.”

You don’t quite grasp at his words until you can feel him inside your mind, the Force allowing him to slip inside of you in the most intimate way. It feels like a fog has washed over you. You’re calm for the first time since you left the room this morning, and with him manipulating your mind you can’t recall what you ever even upset about in the first place. 

“Do you see it, yet?” He questions, and you shake your head to his sigh. “Watch closely.” One hand remains on your breast, still idly playing with it, but the other snakes down to your cunt. His hands are so impossibly large that he barely needs to part your legs, one long finger finding your clit almost immediately. He gives it a soft rub, and your eyes flutter close at the familiar pleasure. 

“Ah, ah, I said watch,” He gently chastises you, and you force your eyes open and glue them to your face in the mirror. You flushed again now, but not from your wayward emotions. He adds a bit more pressure to your clit, and you’re forced now to bite back a moan. He frowns when he sees your teeth dig into your lower lip but says nothing else. His fingers dip further now, as his body dips down around yours, and he uses two fingers to gather up the wetness growing between your legs. He brings his glistening, gloved fingers up to his mouth, sucking them clean before your eyes. 

“Exquisite,” It’s almost a moan, and you think you might orgasm on the spot from just the way he sounds right now. Once he’s satisfied that his fingers are sufficiently clean enough, and they’re practically dripping with his saliva once he’s done, he moves them back between your legs. “Watch now, when I do this.”

He pushes them into you with one sharp motion, and this time there’s no stopping the moan you release. His returning smile at your noises is almost predatory, and he moves his fingers in and out at an all too slow for you pace. 

“Can you hear how wet you are for me?” He asks, and you nod in return. You can hear the lewd noises coming from your dripping cunt, especially when he pushes his fingers all the way in. He pauses with them fully inside of you and you grind your hips down desperately into the palm of his hand, trying to get any sort of stimulation on your clit. He holds his hand steady as you use it for your own pleasure, the arm that was gripping your breast now holding you back to him. He whispers something in your ear, but the approach of your orgasm drowns it all out. Your cunt clenches down on his fingers, coating them in your juices as you ride it out. 

His hands leave you, and for a moment you’re left adrift, but then he’s pushing you forward to lean over the sink. You can hear his pants being adjusted as he pulls his cock out, and you automatically adjust your stance, shifting your legs wider for him to slot himself in between them. You can feel the blunt head of his cock as he slides it into you, slowly spitting you open. He’s been inside of you so many times before, but you’ve never grown used to the stretch of him. You swore you could feel him in your throat now. After what feels like forever he’s finally all of the way inside of you, pressing up against every sweet spot you have at this angle. 

“Look at your greedy little cunt, sucking me in,” He sounds almost reverential as his eyes lock onto where your bodies meet. You try to rock forward, giving any sort of movement, but his hands come up to your waist, holding you still.

“Hold on tight, pretty thing,” Is this only warning you get before he suddenly pulls back out, and slams himself into you. Your hands scramble to hold onto the sink, before you think to hold onto the sides of the mirror. He sets a brutal pace, one he knows you love, and doesn’t stop talking the entire time. 

“Stars, how could you doubt yourself?” 

“Look at how well you take me-”

“I would stay inside of you forever if I could.”

“Watch yourself come undone on my cock, has there ever been a prettier sight?”

You’re sobbing with pleasure now, body quickly becoming overstimulated between his praise and his cock. He reaches one hand around to rub quick, harsh circles against your clit and just like that you’re cumming again. He still doesn’t let up, hips slamming you against the sink, hands gripping you so hard you know you’ll have bruises for days to come. You submit to him, to his will and his force, as you always do, and let him use you for his pleasure now, the only thanks you think you can manage to give him. You don’t have the strength for anything else. 

Kylo seems, if anything, even more energized than before. He’s moaning now, and though part of you thinks it might be for your benefit only, it still makes your cunt tighten around him. At the feeling of you clenching around him once more his hips stutter, slamming into you once more with all the strength he has as he holds himself close to you and finally cums himself. He keeps himself inside of you, panting as you feel him soften inside of you. 

Once his breathing is under control again he leans forward, his hand coming up to grip your jaw once more as he meets your eyes in the mirror. There’s sweat beading at his hairline, a testament of how vigorously he’s just fucked you. HIs face dips down, pressing kisses to the soft skin of your neck. 

“This. This is the face of a pretty thing well worth my time,” He looks back up at you again, “The others who say differently are insignificant. You belong to me.”

And in the moment, that’s all that matters.

**Author's Note:**

> A world of thanks to Cait, who helped shape the ending of this fic. And to Melly who read over it to make sure I wasn't totally incoherent.


End file.
